Fatherhood Series: Jasper (40)

In celebration of FATHERS DAY, this week’s instalment of the Fatherhood series is with Jasper, a father in a co-parenting situation.

He explains how his upbringing has affected his approach to Periods and how he has been tackling the “Period Talk” with his daughter.

Growing up I was fortunate to be surrounded by a mum who had a lot of female friends. Most conversations were from a female perspective and included periods. This conversation was then opened to involve me, to make me aware of what a period meant and what it involved.

Through education I knew and understood things prior to being a father. The topic was covered in depth so I didn’t really change my thought process once I became a father. The only difference was I would be able to explain from a male/fathers perspective……. Nothing really changed.

Reservations??

I was fine and didnt have many reservations apart from wondering if she would be able to understand what was going to happen however as we are open about everything I didn’t feel any anxiety about the conversations….. plus her mum also made sure she discussed the subject with her.

I /we (as parents) approached the subject as soon as we saw her going through puberty and started seeing signs such as the emotional change and the bodily changes such as hair and spots. We knew it was better to both prepare her.

Also her mum was going away and wanted to know that if her period came, she would know what to expect and what to ask me for.

Approach ??

There was not other way to approach the topic given hindsight. As long as we were all open, I knew it wasn’t that much of an issue.

Changes in attitude now your daughter is a pre teen??

My attitude hasn’t change as I was given a lot of information at a young age, however the only part was explaining about swimming while on a period and the different types of pads available (such as tampons) which I asked her mum to explain to her as it could lead to a sexual health conversation.

Many thanks to Jasper for taking the time to share his experience.

Jasper highlights the benefits of great communication in a co-parenting situation and how it can help ease the anxiety of a first period not only for the child but also for the parents.

Happy Father’s Day Guys!!!

Check out the rest of the Fatherhood series below:

Bobby’s experience

DJ’s experience

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Fatherhood Series: Bobby (33)

As Father’s day falls in the Month of June we thought we will celebrate by talking to fathers about periods with their children. 

Today is the turn of Bobby a single dad who despite not having discussions about periods in his youth, felt able to discuss the issue with his ten year old daughter. 

I enjoy being a father to a girl in lots of ways I think it s probably a lot easier than being a father to a son. I enjoy our relationship and we have a lot of fun. There are lots of things that I am probably not as equipped to deal with as a mother would be, such as periods but I ask female friends and relatives for advice and some of them help me deal directly with my daughter on some of these issues.

Broaching the Subject with a little help. 

As she began to get older and develop it was clear that her periods may come at any time. I want her to be as prepared as possible so that she does not have an embarrassing experience at school as I think that may really effect her confidence and that is what I am most concerned about.

I actually got the help of a close friend who is close to my daughter to talk with her about it first. They know my daughter very well and have a very close relationship with her. Since then I have been quite upfront about it ensuring she has a pad in her school bag as she gets older and talking about the subject without being shy or uncomfortable about it- just to show that it is a normal thing. If my daughter feels shy to talk about it  I tend to just explain that it is a normal thing. If I sense she is really uncomfortable talking to me about certain things that surround it then an aunt or my mum would step in once I explain the situation.

Final Thoughts and Reflections

I don’t think I thought about periods at all when I was younger. My attitude has towards periods have changed since I was a child. I am concerned about the other effects that puberty may have on her and how to deal with them.

I am happy with the way that I carried out the conversations. Getting support from other members of my family and talking about it very frankly to show my daughter that there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

best dad period

Thanks to Bobby for taking the time to share his experience. Bobby’s fearless ability to start a dialogue on periods to his daughter shows that Dads can more than successfully manage the sensitive topic!

Additionally Bobby has shown us that recruiting support from an important female role model in a child’s life can help provide further depth to the ‘period talk’. 

What male figures have you spoken to about periods? 

Is talking to men about periods still an uncomfortable topic? 

Let us know in the comment section.
Check out Dj's experience

 

Pill & Periods

We came across this amazing article by Clue App, giving a really clear breakdown of what it means to have a period whilst taking the pill.

Here is an portion of the article, to read the full click the link below….

https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/pill-your-period

Clue says….

When you’re on the pill bleeding typically happens at the end of each pack. These are the days you take no pills or take the pills in your pack with no (or few) hormones—also known as placebo pills. This bleeding will probably be different than your period would be if you weren’t taking the pill—and you may have times when you bleed very little or not at all.

Top things to know:

  • Your “period” on the pill is actually called withdrawal bleeding, and happens when the levels of hormones in your pills drop
  • Withdrawal bleeding may be lighter or slightly different than the period you had before taking the pill
  • Some people experience only spotting or don’t bleed at all during placebo pill days
  • Your bleeding on the pill is likely to change over time

Do I get a “real” period on the pill?

Nope. The bleeding you get when you’re on the pill is not the same as a menstrual period.

When you’re taking the pill, your period is technically called withdrawal bleeding, referring to the withdrawal of hormones in your pill. The drop in hormones levels causes the lining of your uterus (the endometrium) to shed (1). This bleeding may be slightly different than the period you had before taking the pill. It also may change over time while taking the pill.

What exactly is happening to my body? Am I ovulating on the pill?

No. If you take your pill consistently and correctly, you shouldn’t ovulate. This is the primary way the pill prevents pregnancy. In a usual (no-pill) cycle, the body’s natural reproductive hormones fluctuate up and down, taking your body through a process of preparing an egg for release, releasing that egg, and preparing your uterus to accept a potentially fertilized egg.

The hormones in the pill stop and prevent your ovaries from preparing and releasing eggs. They stop the usual hormonal “cycling”, including ovulation, the typical growth of the endometrium, and the natural period.

Why is my bleeding different on the pill?

The pill prevents your endometrium from growing thicker, as it would in a typical menstrual cycle (2, 3). It also prevents ovulation, and the typical cycling of reproductive hormones. When you have withdrawal bleeding, the bleeding tends to be lighter than normal menstrual bleeding.

It’s also possible to have no withdrawal bleeding or only spotting during the days you take inactive pills (or no pills). This is more common for people taking higher doses of estrogen, or a pill with a shorter (or no) hormone-free interval (most pill packs have seven placebo pills but check your pack’s box and infosheet if you’re not sure.) (4, 5).

What’s “normal” bleeding while on the pill?

Your body’s response to your pill will depend on the type of pill you take, and your own body’s hormones. On a typical 21/7 monophasic pill (where all active pills have the same amount of hormones — check your pack), bleeding may start on day 2 or 3 of your placebo week and last 3–5 days on average. A few people may have only one day of bleeding mid-week, and others may have bleeding that extends into their next pill pack. Up to 1 in 10 have no withdrawal bleeding at all (not including spotting) (5).

Bleeding on the pill is also likely to change over time. In people using the 24/4 day pill (24 active hormone pills & 4 placebo pills), about 1–2 in 10 had no significant withdrawal bleeding by the 6th pill pack (4). Bleeding also tended to decrease over time.

No bleeding can also signal a pregnancy. Take a pregnancy test if you’re unsure, especially if you haven’t taken your pills correctly in the previous pack.

Unexpected spotting and bleeding on the pill

Bleeding and spotting can happen outside of your usual period time. This is called breakthrough bleeding. It doesn’t mean your pill isn’t working, but it can be frustrating to deal with (2).*

Up to 1 in 5 people experience breakthrough bleeding when first taking the pill (6). It is not usually a cause for concern and will often stop after a few weeks or months (7).

Others will need to try a different pill brand, with different levels of hormones. Many experts recommend choosing a pill with the lowest dose of estrogen (ethinylestradiol/EE), and only changing to a higher dose if breakthrough bleeding is a persistent problem (7).

Spotting can also be caused by missing pills, as the drop in hormone levels can cause a small amount of withdrawal bleeding.

What’s normal

  • Unexpected spotting for the first few months while taking a new pill (talk to your healthcare provider if it’s still happening after 3 months
  • Withdrawal bleeding that is lighter, or shorter than your period before the pill
  • Withdrawal bleeding that changes slightly over time while on the pill
  • Having little or no bleeding during your placebo week after taking your pills correctly

*This article refers to the use of combined hormonal contraceptive pills, which contain both estrogen and progestin (the most common type). Bleeding patterns will be different for people taking the progestin-only minipill.

Download Clue to track when you’ve taken your pill.

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Fatherhood Series : DJ (39)

In honour of the upcoming Father’s Day, we have dedicated the month of June to Father-Daughter stories.

We kick off our Fatherhood Series with a touching account from DJ

We sat down with DJ, a father of a pre teen, to get his view all things periods.

When you were growing up did anyone speak to you about periods?

Yes. In sixth form and college discussions but I don’t remember much talk about it before then.

Thoughts/Opinions on periods prior to being a father to a girl

It hadn’t really crossed my mind…..

I’ve been lucky as daughter’s primary school started on the subject and those questions were a sign for my wife to have “the talk” and explained to her.

How did you first broach it with your daughter ?

The topic came up randomly one day and as my daughter was quite informed, she was trying to educate me……. but the conversation was quite simple / basic and we basically spoke about what she knew.

Did you have any reservations ?

No…. it’s necessary that I’m included…. I’m her dad !

How do you feel about talking to her about it ?

I feel fine, it’s natural – if I’m awkward, it will be awkward.

My view is it’s information she needs to understands and will ultimately experience, so no problem for me.

Why did you choose to do so when you did/ is there a right time to broach the subject ?

Although she has not started yet, she is beginning to grow up and on discussion with my wife, we felt the time was fast approaching. The opening conversation from the school just sped up the process.

So I guess there is no right time…. I think it depends on the child.

In hindsight would you of prepared differently for the conversation ?

No, I think she is well prepared now.

If you didn’t broach the subject who did / why was that person best placed to speak with your daughter ?

I feel like her mother’s life experience made her the perfect person to start off the conversation but it should be noted that daddy’s can play a role too.